Thursday, 16 January 2014

What am i WEIGHT-ing for!

Hello everyone,

I hope your all well. It's nearly the weekend!

This is what i say now
From this
To this
My weight has always been up and down like a yo-yo! when I was younger, around the teenage point in my life I was a size 6-8 uk size and was frequently picked on by girls at my school. They would whisper as I walked past them in front of my whole class a make judgemental remarks like "Oh my god, she is so skinny I feel sick, she must have an eating disorder, NO! I never have had one, I like my food.

My self-esteem was quite low at that time in my life and I felt quite paranoid that everyone was staring at me because I was slim. I ended up going to school with an extra pai
r on trousers to fill my legs out a bit (sad I know). I was just one of those girls that ate and ate and never gained weight when I was young, plus when your younger your metabolism is alot faster because your on the move everyday at school, no wonder I never gained weight. 

Nobody ever knew I used to wear two pairs of trousers, but it made me feel better about myself. Girls can be so bloody bitchy at times, it makes me so angry. I think to myself now that they were probably jealous because they weren't a size 8.

My parents broke up when I was around 12 years old and everything just turned upside down, which effected my weight too. My mum then asked myself and my slightly younger brother "who would you like to live with me or your dad" I mean come on!, what a question to ask!.  We picked my dad as my mum had my baby sister at the time and my dad was on his own.  Over the next few years I went back to live with my mum as my dad liked to drink alot and I was unhappy where I was, so I went back to my mums which took her a while to accept me back, but that's a whole other story. 

I left school at 16, with very little qualifications as I didn't study that well at school because of my world being turn upside down, but I did get into college where I did get a GNVQ qualification with distinction in Leisure and Tourism which I was pleased with myself for. 

I met a boy called David when I was about 17 in 2002, we became good friends and after a short while were inseparable. We were a very young couple who became in love so quickly. I moved in with him after staying over so much, it felt like I was living there already so why not. We brought a couple of kittens to add to our home and we got engaged when I was 19 years old in 2004, in Spain which was so romantic. 

We got married a year later when I was 20 years old in 2005. I got so content in the relationship that I didn't even notice the weight going back on so quickly and I was a curvy looking 12-14.

In 2008 I became pregnant with our beautiful son Jack. I went right up to a size 16, which being pregnant you can understand putting some weight on, but after breast feeding the little darling it dropped straight off and I went right back down to a size 12.

Around the year 2011 I experienced some awful anxiety and panic attacks, which really affected my appetite and I lost alot of weight quickly and went from around 10 stone 6 pounds down to 8 stone 3 pounds. It was a drastic drop and I looked ill.  I got my anxiety sorted quite a lot, but it stills there somewhere and it does show its ugly head now and again. But over time sure enough it went back on again.

I went on holiday last summer, which was the first time for my 4 year old. It was a lovely break, but I did eat an awful lot, I gained half a stone in a fortnight. ooops!. Then leading up to Christmas and during the festivities I have gained such alot and I am currently at 11 stone 10 pounds, which does put my in the overweight category for my height at 5 foot 4 inches.

So this year is "watch how much I eat", so I am taking the dog out for a extra walk everyday - so hopefully my belly might go down a bit soon.

I would like to get back to a health BMI of 10 stone 5 pounds.

I might mention every week in a post what I weigh, just to let you know where I'm at.

I you have gone through or going through anything like this at school or out of school, then please leave a comment.


Big hugs and smiles
Rachael 
xxx

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